I have not slept in months. It got so bad that I made an appointment with a sleep doctor
There were nights I laid awake until 4 am tossing and turning. Other nights I'd wake up at 2 am and be fully awake. I have been exhausted and worn thin
I felt myself slide into stress and mess the last few months. At first I thought it was because of the insanity around me...
In September, my dear friend lost her fiancé unexpectedly.
In October, we went to Disney for Halloween (fun but stressful)
In November, the Holistic Dragon opened, my oldest got his license, my oldest started his job, the lovely assistant got laid off, the lovely assistant started a new job with longer hours, & normal holiday stress
In December, I spent most of my free time getting things moved to the Dragon, I switched/painted offices, I last minute planned a Christmas Eve celebration, Christmas Day a beloved family member went into the ICU, 3 days later we said our goodbyes, & the next day they made a miraculous recovery. 🙌
In January, I was a puddle. I've been taking two naps a day and still felt exhausted. By the last week of the month, I was ready to quit. My business brought me no joy. I knew something had to give. I was living in a way that was not authentic to me. I did some soul searching and realized I needed to bring my business back home. So I gave up my office at the Dragon. I will still be there doing readings and events but it's no longer 'my' space.
In February, I packed up all my things & brought them home. What took 2 months to move in, I cleared out in two days.
This was my office last week.
And here's the red office last night.
Here is the absolute chaos in my house right now. 😩
The last day in January, I spoke to my business partner about stepping back from an ownership role. She was super supportive. She knew I was crazy stressed & was waiting for me to figure it out.
I literally only figured it out the night before. When we started this venture, my husband was home in time to get the kids off the bus. Now he gets home three hours later. Plus having two cars with three drivers who work in three different towns. It was too fucking much. 😩
I am a stay at home mom first, business owner second. Always have been. {hence #feralhousewitch} The point of having flexibility in my job is being able to use it. To be able to go with the flow. I have been shoving myself in wrong directions for months and I was hopelessly lost. My neuro spicy brain does not do well outside it's comfort zone. I tried moving my comfort zone with me and it did not work. So I needed to stop.
I am blessed to have people who support me. Who don't mock or belittle me when I have to change directions.
The last night in January, I slept through the night. I woke up yesterday feeling awake for the first time in months. 💜
Today I am sore from moving furniture but I am awake and clear headed.
TL;DR I moved my office back home because it works better for me.